Reflective counselling journal

Introduction 

In this paper, I am going to discuss three counselling micro-skills. They’re; clarifying questions, a reflection of feelings and eye contact.  

In clarifying questions, I want to look at how to clarify ambiguous thoughts, feelings or behaviours and develop the ability to reflect the Client’s explicit or inexplicit communications and practice developing natural caring eye contact skills.

According to Lisa F., Powers, (2006), clarifying questions are important in counselling, therefore, Counsellor must be careful with the kind of questions asked. 

Following clarifying questions were used in a recent marital counselling session.

Client: “My wife had sexual affairs with another man”. “I was very angry so I wanted to do something about her but cool it down”.

Counsellor: Did I hear “you say you wanted to do some about your wife because she had sexual relations with another man”. Can you clarify that for me in other words?

Client: Yes, I mean, I wanted to kill or physical bit her up for breaking our marriage promise by having sexual relations with another man while I was at work.

The purpose of using clarifying questions is to clarify vague or ambiguous thoughts, feelings or behaviours which the Counselor has just heard from the client’s story. The Counselor employs clarifying questions like this to enrich the story: “Did I hear you say…? Lisa F., Powers, 2006,”

Clarifying questions merely invite the client to restate what s/he has just said and also the Counselor affirming to the Client what the Counselor has understood the Client have said. The clarification questions can be in a form of paraphrasing of the Client’s most recently stated story.

The Counselor asks the Client clarifying questions in respect to what the Client has said.  The Counselor invites the client to say it in other words so that the story is well understood.  Clarifying questions provide an opportunity for the Client to unearth the ambiguous elements of the story.

The Counselor listens to the story and processing them while the Speaker continues to talk. Most stories are emotional base. Therefore, the Clients may use different words to express their feelings, thoughts and behaviour. In such scenarios Counselor use clarifying questions to explore the patchy communications.  

The clarifying questions present the Clients opportunity to scrutinize deeper into the issues thus unearth vague areas so that the Client work on an ideal future.

 I must continue using clarifying question because ‘not all stories come in the same form but different sizes and shapes ’. Many time Clients do not speak their stories in a clear tone. They put up their stories in different forms to say the different thing that means another thing thus it become inexplicit for the Counsellor to process it. Like the above case study where the Client says; 

"I wanted to do something about her”. 

With the aid of clarifying questions, the ambiguous statement “I wanted to do something about her” apparently become visible. Clarifying questions merely removes the dark patchy areas so that issues are visible.

What I realize in clarifying questions from the above case is; the Client was protective of his evil mind. He was not free to undress the story but use the ambiguous statement to dig up the hidden envision actions.  When the invitation was offered for clarity, he pauses for five seconds to free up the vague.

Reflecting acts like a minor; it gives back to the Client what s/he just has said. It let the Client know what the Counselor understand about the stories the Client has communicated (Lisa F., Powers, 2006). 

The Client may express their feelings explicitly or inexplicitly using tone of voice, nonverbal communication the context, or the content of a client’s story (Lisa F., Powers, 2006). The Counselor use reflection skills to minor Client’s emotional verbal or nonverbal cues.

The purpose of reflection of feelings is to help the clients free up their emotional feelings to feel free, restore lost dignity and navigate the future with self-confidence. 

The Counselor must clinically be an active listener of the ears and eyes of an eagle to see the unseen for an effective reflection of feelings, then the Counsellor painstakingly tours the Client’s world. The Counselor’s perfectness comes from attentive listening ears. Attentive listening is a skill that involves both eye and ears.

The Counselor ability to locate the Client’s feelings, positively raise the Clients self-awareness, concurrently, the Client’s feels that their stories are heard like the following case:

Client: “After hearing my wife had sexual relations with another man, I immediately remove her from my house but I am just thinking hard about my boy”.

Counsellor: You’re feeling sorry for sending away your wife and son without solving the problem. 

Client: “Yes! “I was so angry that without a second thought I force my wife out of my house”. “Now the issue is settling down, I am feeling sorry for her and my son”.

If I wasn’t too clinical, I would have missed the verbal cue of “I am thinking hard about my boy”. This was an explicit statement so, with rich cultural background, I could easily pick up the verbal cues to reflect the Client’s feeling thus affirm his feeling toward his wife and son.

The Client pause for few seconds then communicates slowly when he said the following statement. 

“I am just thinking hard about my boy”. When I notice his verbal and behavioural and cue, I relate them to the cultural context he confirms that he wants to sit down with both parents to solve the issues.

What stood out clear in this clinical scenario was the importance of listening for feelings cue, either in verbal or non-verbal communication, which was coming deep from a person’s heart, and it’s extremely important.

Reflection of feelings in counselling is a useful tool. The important element that stands out is how to add a feeling label. For example, It sounds like you are feeling…….or you feel………………because……………. 

The important things to look at are the feelings words such as ‘sad’, ‘mad’, ’glad’,’ sorry’,’ worry’,’ scared’ (Lisa F., Powers, 2006) etc. Mastering the arts of reflection of feelings will enable the Counselor to provide quality service.

Eye Contact: Acording to Terhi, M., Helminen (2017) eye contact between the Speaker and Listener affects autonomic arousal. The time duration of 15-the 20s might break social norms, but in everyday encounters, the average length of a single mutual gaze is only about 1.5–3 seconds.

In Papua New Guinea’s cultural context, eye contact is rarely practised. Eye contact in counselling practice is underrated and can be easily misinterpreted in different social and cultural contexts. 

Eye contact exchange a significant amount of nonverbal communication between the Listener and Speaker (Leonora, P, Volmink, 2015). Eye contact transmits ‘interest’, telling the Speaker their stories are important and the Listener is listening to support them. Employing natural caring eye contact can increase positive value, which the clients’ feel secure to release their story in safe hands.  Good eye contact tells the Speaker that Listener understands every step the client is taking.

Eye contact connects the Listener’s and Speaker’s world, which builds rapport - a bridge that, facilitates the transportation of information. The eyes contact transmits love and care to another person- the Clients.  Through the caring eye, the Counsellor can guide the Client to explore deeper into their stories.

Counsellor: I was attentively listening with my ears but didn’t realize that my eyes were at work processing vital information from the Client’s body language, which was a non-verbal communication that he was unable to express freely. 

The Speaker reacts to his story as he unfolds it, which he communicating a message only the eyes can understand than ears. 

As a Practitioner responds with a smile, nods of the head, yes (etc.) transmit interest and care with displays of positive body posture that increase self-confidence that demonstrate to him, demonstrates that the Counselor was there for him. 

This experience helps the Counselor to appreciate that eye contact indeed inspires the Clients to unearth their stories without hesitation.  

One thing a Counselor need to do is self-awareness of own body language to become an effective Practitioner.  The consistent body language communicates a positive message like smile, good eye contact then direct eye contact, nodding of the head, reasonable dressing, good body posture like slight moving towards the Speaker displaying that the Counselor is attentively listening to the Client’s story. 

Eye contact can bring about a positive relationship between the Listener and Speaker.  Keeping a positive tone is staying on power tracking the clients into their stories.  When the Counselor sends a mile message, Clients will reply with a positive smile that can build a significant relationship so the client will feel secure to free up their minds. 

Reference Lists.

1.Basic counselling skills –skiils.com; https://.www.basic-counselling-skills.com/asking-questions.html  

2.Lisa F., Powers, (2006), Lifeline/Childline Namibia: Community Counselor Training Toolkit, Module 2, Basic counselling skills, Participants Manual. www.fhi.org?NR/CounselingToolkitModule2ParticipantHV.pdf 

3.Leonora, P., Volmink, (November 2015), The Role of Eye Contact in Promoting Effective Learning In Natural Science In The Secondary School, University of South Africa.

4. This, M., Helminen, (4 August 2017,) The Effect of Eye Contact on Arousal and Attention A psychophysiological perspective, Faculty Council of Social Sciences of the University of Tampere

HIV Educational tips.

What are HIV & AIDS?

HIV stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus, and AIDS stands for Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome.

The individuals first contract HIV infection to become AIDS patients. The AIDS condition is when HIV is developed into the full-blown stage with a combination of multiple medical conditions.

So, the person living with HIV is not an AIDS person. He can be an HIV carrier, live with the virus for many and has the potential to spread the infection to uninfected persons.

HIV educational tips.

Having sex without a condom.

If you want to have sexual intercourse outside your marriage, or faithfully partner - always use a condom.

Having sex without the use of a condom you can contract HIV/STI (Sexual Transmitted Infections), unwanted pregnancies (female). In Papua New Guinea, the major mode of HIV transmission is through vaginal sexual intercourse, and this is not the same in many parts of the world.

What transport HIV infection?

Four major vehicles transport HIV from an infected person to an uninfected person. They are infected semen, vaginal fluids, blood and breast milk. 

The infected semen and vaginal fluids have a high chance of transmitting the HIV infection. The blood that comes in contact with an open wound can easily absorb through the soft tissue membrane. Breast milk has a high chance if there is no medical care for pregnant mothers. Currently, all health facilities have medical treatments and support services available for pregnant mothers who want to have babies without HIV, and it's one hundred per cent safe. Many health facilities in Papua New Guinea and around the world are delivering babies without HIV.

So, talk to your doctor or healthcare provider who can support pregnant mothers to have healthy babies.

Multiple sexual partners.

Staying true to one sexual partner stops the transmission of HIV/STI. However, having multiple sexual relationships has a high chance of contracting HIV/STI. 

Condom - the best prevention method.

If you have multiple sexual partners, use a condom. The condom remains the best prevention method and without the use of a condom during sex, you are at a greater risk of HIV/STI.

Getting HIV test.

The key to freeing your mental health stress is getting tested for HIV. Only the test will tell whether you are HIV positive or negative. You can not tell a person by looking at him or her having HIV, no!

Talk to your doctor or healthcare workers where to get tested.

Get treated for STI.

The STI increases the high risk of contracting HIV. One thing to remember is HIV is one of the STIs. The STI spread the same way HIV is transmitted through sexual contact. So, if you have an STI you might as well have HIV. 

Antiretroviral (ART) support.

If you have HIV, you can not vomit it or abort it. What you need to do is talk to your doctor or healthcare provider about how to get ART. The ART can not cure HIV, but it can suppress the virus load in your body so that you stay fas it and healthy as other none infected people.

HIV spread stops with you.

Love life. If you are an infected person respect another person, and engage in protective sex, if you are none infected person, avoid HIV through the use of a condom. The spread of HIV stops in your love for life.

Fly-In-Fly-Out (FIFO) worker’s wives’ workload stress

 Introduction:

Characteristically, FIFO work involves a roster system in which employees spend a certain number of days’ away working on-site, after which they return to their families for a set number of days (Storey, 2010). Workers are therefore away from their local communities and families for set periods on a regular, rostered basis.

Current research literature has increasingly identified the damaging impacts of FIFO work arrangements on parenting, families, and individuals. This is often recounted in the research literature as ‘parenting stress’, ‘conflict’, and ‘relationship stresses. Whether or not these negative consequences of FIFO work arrangements on families are indicative of the existence of higher rates of family and domestic violence in FIFO worker populations is unknown (Govt. of Western Australia –Dpt. for child protection & family support-2013).

In the absence of a father, the mothers perform one of the most difficult mother-father’s tasks, starting early as 5 am and clocking off late in the night just to ensure the house is in order. The mothers are emotionally, physically and mentally over-stress, and require support from their husbands/partners.  

 The FIFO Workers are not aware of the enormous tasks mothers perform on daily basis. The mothers do not speak up just to prevent them from being kicked out of the house, violent relationship, or protect social and cultural values. The FIFO Workers’ wives are living in hell on earth.

•  Rationality.

Conflicting expectations of FIFO parents (eg. parenting/ household tasks, finances) lead to greater vulnerability to feelings of isolation or depression (2013).

 The essence of this paper is to uncover the FIFO Workers’ wives’ workload, emotional and psychological stress, physical gaps and financial needs while men are at the mine-site.

 The FIFO Workers wives are living in hell with overload in the effort to ensure their school kids, houses, animals, and visitors are supported. However, most of the men are not aware of the magnitude of the mother’s tasks due to a lack of education and awareness.

 The rationality of this paper is to educate the FIFO Workers on the tasks wives performed while they are away, so that they provide emotional, psychological and financial support, provide physical closeness and, relieve household tasks while on field break.

•  Target audience.

This study particularly looks at the Newcrest FIFO Mine Workers’, particularly male Workers.  Most of these workers are highly skilled labour force, drawing from various parts of Papua New Guinea and overseas, and they are work rooster schedule with fixed field break days.

• Objective(s).

Five HIV Prevention Strategies

The HIV remains one of the deadliest disease in the worldwide. There are many factors facilitating the spread of HIV infection, but one of the core rationale behind the spread of HIV is lack of education and awareness about how HIV infection spread from infected person to uninfected person.

When you are informed, you are likely to engage in informed decisions like employing prevention methods.

The followings five (A,B,C,D & E) HIV prevention strategies provides various alternatives for people to decide.

(1). A - Abstain from having sex.
Simply no sex! This is the best way to prevent one from getting infected with HIV, yet it remains one of the fail concept. In real-life situations, no one abstains from having sexual intercourse.

If the first strategy is not working for you, then you have the second option to choose and that is B.

B - stands for ‘be faithful to one sexual partner’. This is the most effective prevention strategy. You can have regular sex with your wife, husband, girlfriends or boyfriends.

If you are unable to manage the above two preventions strategies, then, you have the next option that is C.

C - Use of condoms.
The condom remains a super prevention method. There is no better prevention tool than a condom. There are two types of condoms, male and female condoms (Read to ‘how to use condom’ in this blog).

Whenever you feel like having sex outside your faithful partners, it is advisable to use a condom to stay protected. The condom can prevent sexually transmitted infections including HIV and unwanted pregnancies.

Some things your need to lookout on condom are:

•Check the condom's expiry date.
•Do not carry the condom in your trouser pockets as sitting and up position will remove the condom's lubricants which will perhaps break during the sexual intercourse.
•Store the condom in a cool, dry and safe place.
•Use one condom to one act of sex.

D - Delay engaging in sex.
The delay is like abstain from having sex. This strategy is suitable for youths. The young people should delay sex before marriage. This days, delay sex idea only works in few people but it’s a fail strategy for large population. Hence, the selection of above two strategies are better alternative.

E - Education is key to staying free from HIV. Getting educated about HIV and AIDS infections will help us make educated sexual choices. If you are not informed, alone the journey of your life, temptations are not far and lack of education means, you are at the risk of HIV infection. So, get educated to safe life. It is also important that when we are informed, we can also help those around us as well.

TAKE HOME POINT:
• Everything rise and falls at your feet. You take it or leave it, it's a game of a choice.

Three (3) tips on malaria prevention

Malaria is a fatal disease, at the same time preventable. The doctors or health professionals only attend to you when you're sick. The first thing to do is you're helping yourself before you're helped.

So, where there is no doctor, the first thing that comes to our mind is: How can we prevent getting infected with malaria parasites. Many times, we forget the basics or primary health concepts because we want to and enjoy the joy of modern technology. However, the primary health concepts remain the world's perfect health practices.

So, it's best described as preventive medicine they call it prevention is better than curing or proactive primary healthcare remains the world's best while reactive costs lots of money and life.

Following are primary healthcare preventive approaches on how to prevent malaria.

Three (3) tips on how to prevent malaria.

1. Clean up the surrounding bush areas. Ensuring the surroundings of your home should be completely cleared so that mosquitoes do not build their homes. The mosquitoes like to stay in dark places. Once the area is cleared up, and sufficient light is directed in the areas, it's not safe for mosquitoes to live in such areas.

2. Throw away empty tins, pots or any that containers that can store water. The mosquitoes like to still waters and most running water. The still waters is a potential breeding ground for mosquitoes.

So, the best thing to do is open both sides of the tins, and throw them into the rubbish bins, and drain out the still waters. 

The mosquitoes lay eggs and multiple in a still sitting water and once preventive healthcare practices are applied, mosquitoes feel insecure so they either leave or die out.

3. Sleep in properly treated mosquito nuts.

The World Health Organization (WHO) and medical experts on malaria highly recommend sleeping under treated mosquito nets.